So we all image that no one will say anything but perfect things to us while pregnant. We image the “You’re glowing” or the “You look amazing!” to be all that we hear, but that is not the case. Depending on how your body deals with being pregnant you could be like me, and gain 20 pounds in the first eight weeks, or you could be like my sister and struggle with morning sickness until 20 weeks causing weight loss in the beginning. It’s amazing, people felt like they could tell her how tiny she looked with a side-eye, insinuating she wasn’t eating enough to take care of her growing baby. It’s hard but you have to learn how to go about dealing with unwelcome pregnancy talk.
I didn’t gain any weight in my seconds trimester (due to the sudden and rapid gain in the beginning) so everyone always guessed I was way farther along then reality. Let’s start here, don’t guess how far someone is in their pregnancy NEVER EVER! Ask them and let them tell their story. You have no idea what they have been going through whether it be like me, or my sister, just don’t guess. Next, don’t say anything but positive things because again you have no idea what they are going through at that time!
But some people suck and they will always say the wrong things. So let’s talk about ways to deal with this so it doesn’t get you down. When I got pregnant my already small filter disappeared completely, some may laugh but I didn’t like this feeling. Some of my thoughts are supposed to remain what I call “innies” instead of “outies”. I got embarrassed by how rash and aggressive I appeared so it was really important to learn to deal with people’s comments. Here are a few of the things this Momma Bear decided to do so people didn’t get me down during a very volatile time in life:
- Decide what they meant to say even if it isn’t true. I believe most people are good, so when someone would say something to me that could be interpreted in multiple ways, I just decided they meant well by the comment. If someone told me I looked like I was about to pop when really I was only 25 weeks pregnant, I decided they were telling me I had given a good large home to my growing baby. Now that I am nine months pregnant and everyone tells me I look small, I have decided they are telling me I look fit and stay healthy during my pregnancy. Basically, I have decided to live in a world of my own making.
- Inner monologues are your best friend. All my thoughts that I already said I struggled to keep in my head have become my own comedy show. I have a conversation of all the things I would say to this person in response to their comments – BUT KEEP THEM INSIDE! As I said, I think most people are good and probably don’t realize what they are saying could be taken as a hurtful comment.
- Have a vent friend. I have other Momma Bear friends who I immediately call and they know to just roll with it while I vent. They know that sometimes I might be taking things out of context, or being too personal about what is being said but they lent me rant on. This is so important because they don’t make me feel mean or out of line while I am venting, which keeps me from imploding on some kind stranger who just wants to talk to me about my growing belly.
- Talk positively to yourself. I can’t stress this enough, I should have put it as number one on this list. Every time you get dressed, do your hair, put on those killer earrings or flawlessly fall together in a perfect manner don’t forget to compliment yourself. You are doing something amazing and your body needs to be reminded that you are grateful. So the next time some ignorant person says something to you that might be a little rude, you have enough confidence in the bank to brush it off. Remember that you are amazing and while people can make senseless comments, that never takes away from the miracle you are growing right now.
Keep it up Momma Bears and give yourself a break when needed. There will be days you are lucky you showered, and days when you could give a supermodel a run for their money. Depending on the day, just remember that you and your Baby Bear are the most important things – not people’s comments.
Let me know if you have any other tips on how to deal with what people say, I would love to hear from other Momma Bears out there!